Here we are again. End of December looking back at everything that happened throughout this whole year, that bittersweet reflection of everything you’ve done throughout the past 365 days. That sort of painful sit down of looking back knowing it’s about to be nothing but memories in the past. Knowing all those moments were literally once in a lifetime. It’s so bittersweet.

Some days are better than others.. I’m sure if you suffer with depression or anxiety like I do, you know that sometimes you’re on top of the world and it feels like you could scream to it just how happy you are and how great life is.. Sometimes the world feels like it’s crushing down on you instead. To a point you just want it to suffocate you, to take away the uninvited thoughts and feelings. Right now it feels a lot like being suffocated.

You know what times I regret the most? The ones that I stayed in my comfort zone, the times I decided to stay play it safe instead of be fearful. I regret all the times I’ve said no to new experiences. To new ideas. To new beginnings. To a new me. I regret the times I decided to stay rooted when I should have broke free.

To look back on all of this. This moment I’m in, this feeling I feel as I write this, this day. It’s just all a moment of impermanence; nothing more than a floating piece of dust through the air. But the fact I can trap it into this little capsule and share it makes me want to do it. I just can’t wait to look back at all of this a few years from now, when I’m on a total different path of life and in a total different mindset and realize that I was truly alive - I was truly present in all that my life was.

There’s just something about traveling to a new state on a new road with sights I’ve never seen or heard of before that brings me the ultimate content. Every time I cross a state line I think to myself “You know, I really love it here”. Even if all I’ve seen is the road right in front of me and I’m passing by the welcome sign. I just love being somewhere new, with nothing but possibilities. When I’m standing on the border between here and there, it’s as though anything can happen or any wish can come true. I can be anybody I want to be for a day - and then when I’m tired of it I move on to something new. That’s why I love being on the road by myself and that’s why crossing new state lines maybe my favorite places in the world. Neither here or there, but the possibility of anywhere and everywhere.

Songkran.. The most cultural experience I’ve probably ever had. The moment I had been talking about my whole life without even knowing it. 

“I don’t want to go to college - I believe there’s so much more to witness and learn in life by just stepping out into it” 

That would always be my answer on why I don’t want to go to college. How there’s so much to experience in the world and so much to learn it’s all right in front of us. You just have to immerse yourself into a different world than you’ve known, a complete new place and a complete new surrounding of people/scenes.